Stories tagged “limerick”
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Poor Edna
There once was a girl named Edna, Who never brushed before bed-na. She went to the dentist, Found out she had tetanus, And now poor Edna is dead-na.
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Size Queen
She boggled, then pointed and laughed, When he showed her his tent-pitching staff, So he plundered and thundered, And tore her asunder, And now he has two better halfs!
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Rude Limerick Failure
There once was a girl from Vermont, who had an extraordinary duck. She hugged it a bit, and out came some eggs, and an instructional video on the Karma Sutra.
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Pain and Pills
There was an old lady from Maine Who had an exorbitant pain. She tried to take pills but hated the bills so she cried and went crazy insane.
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Current Events
I posted a poem one day And it was quite fine, I did say But I reconsidered And was so embittered By my words, I sent it away.
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Murder in an Irish Style
He stabbed the sharp knife in her breast, she screamed, gasping sighs from her chest, Her hot, steaming blood, ran like rivers in flood, Soon her body was lain with the rest.
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After Dinner Mince
Stropping the blade of his knife, He looked down on her absence of life. He carved and he sliced, then he trimmed and he diced, and went home to cook steak for his wife.
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Pretty is better
When he asked, he was told he should wait; For a life unencumbered by hate. Upon asking “why?” A derisive reply: “It’s not like you look all that great.”
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If You Can Sing, You Can Climb
“Are you bleeding?” I called to my junior partner. “No.” He sounded far away. “Are the goggles all right?” A short pause. I could tell he was counting to ten- in Greek. I smiled. He answered a moment later. “Ye...
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Insomnia
Insomnia has taken him. He’s in a pool, but cannot swim. Reality has gone away. It will forever be astray. He writes limericks on a whim.
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Streams of Gold
Sandwiched between layers, Premier breakfast players, Anticipate morning fun, One stab later, From hungry haters, Cause broken yolks to run
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Sparky
My dog Sparky like to bark He’d bark all night in the dark So we spayed him And then got rid of him And got a new pet shark
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Shrinking Window of Opportunity
Once Months Stunt Growth Hopes Crunch, Dope!