Stories tagged “pineapple”

  • EotB: Last Man Sitting

    At this point I considered breakfast. You’d be surprised how quickly SPAM loses its novelty. After 3 months of the stuff, I was more inclined to build a fort out of the remaining cans (87) than open one and brave the pink horrors within. But I still ...

  • EotB: Wayfarer

    I had a lazy morning. I ate my first bag of Doritos (29 left) and watched Friends. I really can’t stand that Ross guy. Eventually I figured I didn’t have any excuse for not stretching my legs, so I got dressed: big old duster coat for pretending to...

  • EotB: Alone in the Aftermath

    To call it ‘afternoon’ would have implied the sun was visible below its zenith. I preferred to think of it as ‘slightly dimmer day’ – given that the light was a horrible, diffused gray, streaming through the omnipresent ash. The sun was AWOL ...

  • EotB: Cleanup in Aisle Five

    This hadn’t been an especially bad place. Sure, certain parts of it needed a good bulldozing, or maybe a casually thrown molotov, but on the whole, it didn’t deserve the whole nuclear annihilation thing. It had two-bedroom homes with aluminum sidi...

  • EotB: Alone in the Interim

    Being the kind of person who would willingly convert a perfectly normal backyard (patio, wading pool and a crappy shanty I had once hoped to turn into a sexy sauna) into a state-of-the-art bomb shelter, I had read a few speculative fictions. Most of th...

  • EotB - The last Bacon-Ranch

    I was puzzled as to its origins. I couldn’t decide whether it had been a normal piggy, somehow protected from the bombs but eventually mutated, or – and this is where skepticism and science-fiction appear – if it had beenin the grocery’s i...

  • Nonsense Will Not Be Tolerated

    A painted sign on the door read NONSENSE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Upon closer inspection, he could read the fine print. By setting foot on the premises, residents or owners of the land will not be held responsible for loss of life, limbs, loved ones, me...