Stories tagged “rap”

  • [Nerdcore] Videogame Freaky-Deakies Need Love Too (Mature)

    Shiggedy-shiggedy schwa, Super Mario Brothers, A plumber, traversing worlds to find his lover. Why bother? She’ll just get kidnapped on another occasion, No deviation for this man of the Italian persuasion. Amazin’ how he just keeps on craz...

    • Author: Ben Paddon
    • Posted about 5 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Where the Blame Goes (rap challenge)

    Hey momma, holla back, It’s ya little boy writin’ from Iraq, I know ya wonderin as ya sittin there, why in heaven ya gotta be so scared, cuz ya little boy is carryin a gun, shootin up the villages just fo fun, and I know ya wonderin who...

  • State Of the Union

    What’s up with people? Don’t know how to play nice Whining to the boss ‘Bout your petty price How you don’t like so and so So you want them canned Fired Expelled Cuz the World Revolves Around You It’s a frickin’ pis...

  • Stimulus, Taxes and Rap

    MJ Young, I saw ya rappin’ Complain’ ‘bout taxes All da money you send When da gov’ment axes Den you vote fo’ da man Dat promise you hope It’s all an illusion ‘Cause here’s da straight dope Ya don’t remember da sixties When kids got d...

  • Toodeloo, Hulu [Jacquelyn Hyde Challenge]

    Hey Hulu, could you come in here a minute? These days you’re always buffering. Is your heart really in it? I tried to stay commited when you lost Jon and Colbert, But when I want to watch 30 Rock you’re never there for me. I’m telling...

  • MC T.

    (MC T. snatches the mic from mid-air and climbs up on stage.) “Mc Mess and Muffin Talk tough but they’re bluffing— Straight blowing the mic When they’re huffing and puffing Put those air-heads on a spike And watch ‘em pop ...

  • Return of the Mack (MC T.)

    (MC T. exits the ladies room and buttons up his shirt. Muffled cries call out for him to come back. He gets back up on stage.) ‘Rorschach’ has the cadence of a sneeze Try to run another rhyme This seance severs your souls Achilles And you’ve got ...

  • Krulltar Shmulltar

    Krulltar is like a vulture But can’t hold down the rotten scraps He rips off of vulgar culture So he regurgitates them in raps. Game over We differ I’m better You’re bitter I’m the pull You’re the giver I’m in contro...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted about 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • A Talk With ElshaHawk

    ElshaHawk, I don’t mean to ruffle feathers But we have to talk Ouch! keep your talons on the leather! My arm is not a chopping block! You clumsy flesh shredder! Where were we? Oh yes, your walking— That way you waddled about to back up your...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted about 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Pastry Puff McMuff

    Mc Muffin still wants lessons? I can sleepwalk his expressions Off the steep stocks of great depressions He needs my permission to cheap talk— His voice I keep locked in D-Block prisons With Elsha, Krulltar, and Mess All confined with their weak ...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted about 4 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Muffin Enjoys Jazzercise

    Dear Muffin (A.K.A. Pastry Puff McMuff), Jazz class? You obviously meant Jazzercise— You’re the tight clothes type who gets a rise From sweat rolling down the thighs of guys. Your words are grassy like cow pies They’re easily mowed do...

  • Joe Is Not Even Slightly Mighty On Da Mic

    Is Joe mighty? His flow politely goes Down nightly And rises with a brown nose, Unsightly, Wearing Elsha’s clothes— Joe is likely To sing solo’s In a satin nighty At “White Swallows” A bar in San Francisco’s District...

  • Dear Muffin, Elsha, Krulltar, Mess, Joe, And Wift... *ahem

    I’m an American. Monroe equals Marilyn. Taebo Hoe equals Muffin. I’m a good mic samaritan. I’ve withstood Six punk aryans Who think they’re ‘hood’— Blaring arrogant tangents A five-year-old could. It’s a...

  • Ode to Sue Sylvester

    LL- Kay! and I’m rockin’ like a Cool Kat. I don’t bust it ‘bout the hate and the rat-a-tat. LUV! is the message that I’m bringin’ you. Today I wanna pledge my luv to my girl, Sue. CHEER! ‘cuz I used to coach the pom poms. QUEER! ‘cu...

  • Above The Cutting Edge

    (MC T picks up the mic. It feels cold and alien to his touch— far from the warm energy and sweaty palm residue it once had.) This new stream of piss and grits Comes from a long list of sh*t that I’ll never quit I’m deeply into it Like...

  • M.E.O.W (Mature)

    M to the E to the O to the W Listen up, fool, ‘cause I’m gonna trouble you. Best gimme some food from the bin in the kitchen Or I guarantee you’ll be the next one bitchin’. Gonna hop right up on yo’ lap, don’t need a...

    • Author: Tesseract
    • Posted about 4 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Freestyle

    Green gasoline Flame consumer Sizzle lean steamer Smoke plume fumer Look up above, crazy loon, I simply love lunar moon dust Puffs of perfume and donuts, clutz, Microphonettes and micro-pho-homies Imagination like midgets side saddling ponies

  • "Thoughts"

    The future is cloudy With my anxious mind And I think all day Is it worth my time But you know what This aint no ballad Not a story No mind’s too crowded With all the thoughts Of everyday Keep pushing on Get my pay Although there is something...

  • stop thinking

    »Fuck«, he thought as he was standing on the same spot for like, don‘t know, the 12th time. Guess this whole thing climaxed in a mix of greed for stacking paper and smelling some new pussy. Never thought of everything like this before. Since colle...

    • Author: Seni
    • Posted about 3 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Whites of Your Eyes

    We tell our kids When they get hit Don’t retaliate You’re just asking for trouble, Tell some official Nothings settled with more pummel, Communication Not selfish domination Is what we need more of On frustrating occasions Though grown-ups play by ...

  • The Challenge of Love is to Overcome Fear [Rap]

    Paralyzed with indecision, Pair of eyes seeing double vision Wishing I could just say hello, Sifting for gold at a bordello, Jello for legs, love is a plague No, love is a cage makin my heartbreak, Faking a happy life without a wife, Waking up crying w...

  • Soraka, the Starchild [Rap Part 1/2] (Mature)

    I’m parterning up with Soraka taking her bot lane, cause I gotta She’s the starchild of Ionia Consecrating allies, defusing paranoia Welcome on any team, she brings the heals Yield, or you’ll be crushed underheel Enough sustain weR...

  • That Particular Realist

    Purple smirk over shoulder In dreams where I’m older When in truth I’m just a child in a summer growing colder What a bummer And as I give my smoldering glare I count numbers in a cave full of boulders and bears I swear Students getting dum...

    • Author: Jae
    • Posted about 2 years ago.
  • Don't Call Me "Mister"

    Don’t call me mister I’m not ready for professional things Or so it seems That’s my theme And all that it brings I take it lightly Feeling mighty But instead I’m unsightly And unclean That’s the thing Responsibility, man I...

    • Author: Jae
    • Posted about 2 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5