Stories tagged “satire”

  • Prerogative

    “Oh, look. It’s Professor Fortune. Did you see a mad scientist in your crystal ball and teleport down here?” All six and a half feet of Wallbreaker leaned on a lamppost that almost bent under his massive frame. Even with his grizzly l...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Supervillain "Convention"

    Baron Quandary looked less intimidating without his cape, his spiked shoulderpads, and the Helmet of Oblivion. He looked like a middle-aged guy with a receding widow’s peak and a belly that bulged out his orange overalls. He sat disconsolately on...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • There's Been A Misunderstanding

    You’ve got to let me out of here. I don’t know the first thing about dismantling a death ray or fighting genetically modified gorillas on the dark side of the moon. I can hardly lift a gallon of milk over my head, let alone a house, and I h...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Try the bean dip. I hear it's "Super!"

    At first glance, Neil and Steve looked like any other superheroes at the convention. A closer look revealed that Neil’s costume was a catcher’s outfit with a shredded bedhsheet over his shoulders, while Steve’s was a store-bought copy...

  • Evil Laugh

    Baron Quandary threw back his head, held the Relative Particle Transference Controller over his head, and laughed: “muahahHAHAhahahaHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAAhahaha!” Just as Baron Quandary was wrapping up, the hall was filled with blinking red ligh...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Meanwhile…

    People cheered as a swirl of pencils spiraled around the costumed woman on stage. The pencils spun, lined up in a row in mid-air, and then speared themselves into a watermelon set nearby on a small table. As the cheering died off, the woman stepped up ...

  • Wood

    “Do you love trees?” she asked, absently jingling a handful of 10 penny spikes. “Sure,” I grunted noncommittally. I extracted a pencil from behind my ear, entranced by the perfect, gentle swells undulating beneath her snug Earth First! t-shirt...

    • Author: LoRezz
    • Posted about 10 years ago.
  • Drinking Buddies...of sorts

    Wallbreaker leaned heavily on the bar while perching precariously on his stool. “Man, this game has changed.” He drank from his stein of Guinness Extra Stout as though he was sick of it and wanted to see it gone. Professor Fortune was slumm...

  • And So It Came To Pass...

    His lungs exhausted from the endless shouting, his arms shaking with helpless fury, he sank to his knees in the sand. His head bowed, his ragged chin on his battered breast, eyes bloodshot, drifting closed at last. His fury was spent, done, and the aba...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted almost 10 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Jaw Drop

    It gave the phrase “bite my ass” a whole new meaning. I had lost my lower jaw two years ago to a particularly taunting form of cancer, and now the big brains at the institute are growing a new one, from my own DNA (!), in my right buttock. ...

  • Wandering Limbo

    “I hate you” Marcos said for the fifth time as he floated aimlessly through the fluffy void that he found himself in. “I really feel that you are not taking this as the learning experience it could be dear boy, think of all we are lea...

    • Author: spongmunky
    • Posted over 9 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Ann Coulter & Barack Obama

    “So…” “Yeah.” “How much time do we have?” “Umm… Six and a half minutes.” “Ah.” “Yeah.” “…” “So… Wanna do anything?” “Liiike…?” “I dunno. Balance the budget?” “Nah.” “Make peace in the Middle East?...

    • Author: BARomero
    • Posted about 9 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Let's Die!

    Let’s die! You and I. Without asking why Or saying good bye. No caring. No whimper. No cry. No big fuss Because I Would just Like to know What it’s like to ultimately let go. Your life is only the making of Death: The Show. Come on! DonR...

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted about 9 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • The Plot Point Kid

    “How was your day?” “Good”, he replies, grabbing a cereal bowl from the cabinet above the dishwasher. “Cereal for dinner, again? Don’t you want to eat dinner with your dad and me?” “Nope” “Wel...

  • Terry and Harry

    “Oh man oh man oh man,” Terry thought to herself between the pounding of Harry’s foot on the door, “I wish my sister was here! She’d sort this out right quick!” Realizing the futility of the situation, Terry stopped ...

  • The Call to Adventure

    Grogar ran his hand through his curling beard as he looked the old man up and down. “Exactly where did you hear this rumor about the old tower being filled with monsters and treasure, old fella? You really should cite your sources.” “...

    • Author: bluefish
    • Posted almost 9 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Done in by a +1 wooden sword

    Loric let out a deep sigh, backed by long years as Justice. He cradled his beer in its well worn cup, as his unfocused gaze drifted over his fellows at the tavern. “He slaughtered a dragon being raised by Orrin. Found it in a cave, deep into a sh...

    • Author: Passionsocks
    • Posted almost 9 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Serious Questions and Serious Sayings

    Saliva must taste like nothing. Also What if microphones could talk into our mouths? Also What if you saw a sea of souls see-saw Violently like waves in a storm And then all of a sudden you were reborn?

    • Author: Tad Winslow
    • Posted almost 9 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • Day 48 in the Big Brother House...

    07:48 Most of the housemates are still asleep, except for Tincture and Bobble who are in the abattoir… 08:21 Flipper, DeVille, Bobble and Monkey Hands are in the garden. Tincture is making toast… 09:24 The housemates are sheepishly wonderin...

  • Ext. The Shire. Day

    Cut To: Ext. The Shire. Day HOBBITSES tap on mobile devices. They sip lattes and bang out drafts on their round laptops. Int. PJ Baggins Home. Day PJ BAGGINS feeds a BABY HOBBIT, returns it to its crib. PJ Baggins: Mommy’s got to return to her wo...

    • Author: Joe
    • Posted over 8 years ago.
  • CHANNEL 42 Intergalactic Nightly News

    “Good evening! I’m Xemethian Turnstell and this is CHANNEL 42 Intergalactic Nightly News, in affiliation with the VOVchen Corp. Now the headlines for Heptember 67th. In the Western Rim, the Modernist-Post Modernist war continues. Today, t...

    • Author: memento
    • Posted over 8 years ago.
    • 5 out of 5
  • SEX!!!

    He walked down the street to meet his brother, whom he hadn’t seen for a really long time. They parted ways back in the old country and now they finally got reunited. He was inside already waiting for him, all clean up, all hip and dandy, with th...

  • Galactic Space Babies

    “Ok, picture this- Galactic Space Babies!” “I’m sorry, sir?” “People love aliens, people love babies. I’m thinking Star Wars. I’m thinking Mars Attacks. I’m thinking Look Who’s Talking!”...

    • Author: J.S. Hope
    • Posted about 8 years ago.
    • 4 out of 5
  • Rise of the Rise of the Planet of the Apes

    He looked out his high rise window and sighed, his thoughts as scrambled as the veins of traffic on the streets below. The office door opened and closed behind him gently. “Y’know Charlie, it’s a damn shame,” said the man at the...

  • The Real Summer Reading List

    Three things are certain in life: Death, Taxes, and Summer Reading. At the end of every school year, English teachers across the nation assign students summer reading over summer break in preparation for English Class next year.As students often find w...