From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism:

“A malapropism (also called a Dogberryism) is the use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance. An example is Yogi Berra’s statement: “Texas has a lot of electrical votes,” rather than “electoral votes”.

Write a story on the subject of your choice that uses malapropisms liberally.

This challenge is one of three in the Literary Devices event for the Winter 2014 Ficlympics. If you enter this challenge, consider entering the other two (Alliteration and Purple Prose) as well.