Gore and Cults

Title speaks for itself, correct? I’d love to have Monty Python skit feel to this (Have you seen the one where they are at a picnic and everyone’s limbs just start getting chopped off? Ha, I love that one!). Comedy is what I’m needing right about now. Make me laugh!
Challenge requirements:
Gore and Cults, pick one or both to write about. Rock this challenge, okay? I’m counting on you!
I need a kickass challenge to get me back into the swing of things on Ficly. Good luck.

Challenge Entries