thanks for the feedback. :)

Yes, this is a good story idea, I like the role reversal. My only nitpick would probably be the third sentence in the second paragraph. It seems a little awkwardly phrased.

I don’t agree with Pavitra. I think the tone of the story was to show the absurity in this type of situation, which you set up beautifully with “once upon a time”. Although “It reads more like a philosophical thought experiment than like a work of literature”, but that was the point. Stories are not limited to poetic plots that slowly allow the reader to adjust to thoughts that break the status quo, but can be harsh and straightforward.

I agree with Raegan on the third sentence second paragraph thing.

Other than that the story was really entertaining and very well written.

I guess I don’t understand what is awkward about it, or I would revise… care to elaborate?