Relief is what this is. She’s finally gone. Forever. His eyes won’t find her any longer. Her tears of sorrow become my tears of gratefulness. Finally, maybe, he’ll glance at me. Then for him to gaze, that’s what I wish for.
I acted as her friend for so long, to move in closer to him, to feel vicarously what she was feeling, what he gave to her. What she had that I didn’t.
Now, I could feel those feelings firsthand. I could know how real love makes my stomach tingle and my hands sweat. The feeling of my breath being pulled from my chest as soon as his smile reflects in my face, is what I want, what I crave. I cannot escape this place, for her leaving created perfection for my scheme to be achieved. Unless a more beautiful woman, with a sweeter voice, with seductive eyes, an air of mystery comes along.
My curves are too curvy, my eyes too big, my personality too vibrant, too outspoken, too softspoken.
So, if that beauty comes,
I’ve taken a step back.
Am I destined to be alone forever?
Won’t you love me?