A Fear's Effect

Standing by the wall
As the music starts to pound
Everybody dancing, moving with the sound
Awkwardness, uncertainty
A fear that grips my heart
It makes my limbs go still
In this dance, I don’t take part

Climbing up the element
Finally reach the top
I look out over the high bridge
My heart’s beating nearly stops
Legs wobbling, I hug the tree so far above the ground
I can’t imagine walking that
So I turn back around

Sitting on the main house porch
Watch people leave for a run
I tell myself I should do that
I sigh, squint in the sun
When they return, they look so tired
I say: I can’t do that
So I keep sitting on the porch
Feeling lazy, bored, and fat

Look around at my surroundings
Everybody looks so glad
With [all this]* friendship and support
There’s no reason to feel bad
Although my fear is natural
It’s nothing I can’t beat

I get up off the porch
I let go of the tree
Take a deep breath, and smile
And start to tap my feet

  • originally “Aloha,” but it was changed for a non-Aloha community.
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