Five Minutes After The Upchuck

“Dude, no offense but you smell like whale puke.”

“Ouch, my feelings!” Jonah replied. “I’ve had a tough time of it and you’re not making it any better.”

“What happened to you anyway? I mean, you’re like standing on a beach, covered in slime, I state the obvious and you get all righteously indignant on me. What’s up with that?”

“God ordered me to the city of Nineveh to prophesy against it ‘for their great wickedness is come up before me’ and I told him no.”

“You told God no? Are you insane?”

“Well, truth told, I could have handled it better. Next storm comes up, I’m keeping my mouth shut. The bums threw me overboard. Can you believe that?”

“Ahh. Whale swallowed you, huh.”

“Yeah, and here I am, regurgitated and going to Nineveh anyway.”

“Going to shower first?”

“Probably I should . . .”

“Because you smell like whale puke. . .”

“And change clothes too, this tunic is pretty much gone.”

Jonah!” God’s voice thundered.

“Alright, alright! Just let me get cleaned up, OK?”

“Dude, he sounds mad.”

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