Nice build up and climax. Only thing is you switch from referring to your sister as “you” (2nd person) to “her” (3rd person). Just a minor grammer fix.

I think it started out better than it ended. I might have left out the twin reference and just let the “Bye, sister” do the talking at the end.

I liked this one, and I do agree with Star, the twin part would’ve been better left out.

Fine…the twin part will be killed!