Oh wow. Very good, the rhymes weren’t forced, the rhythm was perfect, and the topic is just vague enough to provoke the imagination. Good job.

awesoomeee. A lot of different ways to think about this and thats very cool. I like the rhythm.

That’s intense. And yes, I clicked because of the title. Very nice rhythm.

Though I might change “them” and “they’re” to a regular pronoun like “him” or “her.” Not only is it grammatically correct, I think it adds a little more personality.

Thanks, steven – I like your suggestion.

Cool, ‘cause that’s my favorite stanza.

This is a very good poem OTOC =) and I agree with everything everyone else said above

Touche with band baby. Were you a poet back on Ficlets? I can’t remember. And lol to you saying in your profile about Icy Tea. That stuff is ahmazing

@Nymphaea Rose: I had a few series going, but I found myself writing more and more poems as time went on.

And, why yes, I could live on Icy Tea. ;) Great to find another addict!