but she was facing them.. so she wasn’t hit, right? RIGHT?!
Awesome descriptions! The only thing you left out was if she was tired, or how her lungs hurt, mine would be, but maybe she’s a runner.

Definitely needs a sequel – either at her funeral or what happens when she makes it in time
Brilliant by the way

I agree with Violet. This one is screaming to be finished.

Well, I’m working on prequels but I’m not sure yet if I’ll sequel… even though I know what happens next :)
In the meantime, if you’d like to sequel then go for it. I’d like to see where you guys would take it.

This was beautifully done. I disagree with most of the comments; this is a great standalone piece, leaving the reader to fill in the blanks. And meets the requirements of the challenge to boot. Too often, as writers, we feel we have to inform the reader of all the details or the character’s motivations. Sometimes, what makes a great story is in what is not said.

@ the other commenters : If you think it needs a sequel then sequel it. You guys and gals can write, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

@elsha, tired and breathing heavy? it’s called adrenaline, baby; God’s elixir to make us do extraordinary things when scared.

true krully, adrenaline.. it has to be. Maybe I was tired, lol.

Thank you Krulltar, your comments are always so encouraging :)

I have read this over and over and I’m left with a feeling at the end like I’m hanging off the edge of a cliff by my fingertips. That’s why they call it a cliffhanger. When you know there’s another one coming, it’s great, but when that’s all… Idk. Usually I think it’s a great thing, have you seen my stories? Same way. Maybe my head hurts too much to properly judge.

I think this was excellent, and I fully agree with Krulltar. Well done!