“Oh, well, in that case… just jump up and down after and you won’t get pregnant.”

Jennifer started bouncing on her toes idiotically, “Like this?”

Alli couldn’t stop herself, “Um, you have to actually leave the ground,”

“Like this?” the girl bounced higher.

“Yup, like that…”

The silent group of teenagers was shocked. Half of them because they knew this was complete bullshit and the other half because they didn’t know it could be quite that simple to keep from getting pregnant.*

That night, Jennifer called her boyfriend and purred into the phone that he should plan something special for Friday night, “Like take me out to a nice restaurant or something,”

*Of the first half, half judged Alli because while they agreed that Fifi was an idiot, this was a little much and the other half envied the fact that she had the balls to pretty much trick the dumber girl into getting pregnant. Of the half that believed, half of them would end up pregnant by the end of their high school career, blaming it on Alli.