who are they, silkworms? what are these canyons that heave? Am I on Mars again? I’m sooo lost.
This is well written and evocative, awesome use of 3 senses (sight, sound, touch)to describe the scene, but I need more visual.

I was thinking along the lines of webworms, such as the infestation in Rotterdam a little while back.

but yes, I do agree that this needs a little je ne sais quoi! It was a high-speed challenge from a friend, so didn’t spend more than a few minutes on it at the time….