While written well overall, in terms of poetry this doesn’t quite work for me. When you break your stanzas out into four lines, like you have, the reader generally expects some kind of consistent meter or rhythm. We also kind of pause subconsciously at the end of a line, which creates an unnatural break in your flow since the same thought often spans multiple lines.
Personally, I feel that this would read better as two lines per stanza, where you combine lines one and two and lines three and four as you have them written currently. Of course, this is just one person’s opinion, and poetry is much more personal than other forms of writing. If you have it organized like this for a reason, don’t change it on my account. :-)
Brebelles {LoA}
blusparrow (LoA)
kaellinn18
ElshaHawk (LoA)