Dear Mr Santa,

I represent the child litigants in a class action suit brought against you under a number of actions in tort. These include but are not limited to negligence and trespass to land.

I advise entering retainer with a trusted solicitor remembering the last self-represented litigant to face Milton & Hagan paid damages of over a hundred billion dollars (a little under a dollar per tooth).

It is not a violation of my duty to either client or court to warn that you also face action from a popular beverage manufacturer which claims your distinctive apparel as a trademark. I know, Coke didn’t invent your costume. I read Snopes too, you know.

However, as you will recall from LAWS1404 (Intellectual Property Law), a trademark can arise from particular usage even if not originally of that company’s invention (hence chocolate companies trademarking the colour purple – they are trademarking its use in a specific

Woops, that’s my billable hour over.

Warm regards,

Chris Sakkas,
Solicitor.