I end up back at home to an empty apartment, with no letter from Colin. I wish I could say I was sorry, but I just have nothing to say. I yell I cried I screamed I shamed him in front of his parents; I broke his heart as well as mine.

I never wanted him to leave; I never wanted our relationship to be over so shortly. I wanted nothing more then to spend my life with him.

Here I am sitting by the phone, picking up, hanging up, dialling, but no will to finish the final number.

I pick up half of the time hoping, for Colin to be there saying “hello darling”. I cry myself to sleep, knowing that Colin isn’t there to say goodnight. How I miss his sweet touch upon my shoulders as he kisses my cheeks.

I wish I could go back and change what I said to you, but am to afraid that you will turn away.