Cute little moment there, and it certainly has a slightly dreamy feel to it.

You’re taking the narative forward nicely with this piece, however, unlike THX 0477, I’d suggest that the tone is just a little bit too literal for my tastes.

Aye, this is probably a bit too literal: it does reflect my state of mind when I wrote it. Given that nobody else was taking this anywhere, I needed to get it moving. I’ve got a long way to go before I can fit emotion and movement into 1k…

Nice to get comments, though. ;)

You’ve really created an enchanting scene here. I’m still curious about the questions raised in the first chapter but you’re not in any hurry to answer them. From where I sit, that’s a good thing.