Ug. What kind of place is she in? I have a feeling that the man isn’t going to take her virginity though.

I really really dont mean to sound like a critical jerk or whatnot, but it seems as though this story is kind of dragging. Nothing has really happened yet.

You seem have used up like 3072 characters explaining her getting sold. I just feel like alot could’ve happened by now and she could’ve lost her virginity and been dump on a plane to Africa and had to work the mines by now.

Otherwise, it’s pretty okay.

thanks for the input! I had a whole thing in mind but to be perectly honest I think I’m just going to skip all the details as it isn’t really neccessary. Looking back I agree with you Gabriel. It does drag on a bit. I’ll probably go back and see what I can change once the whole thing is done. Once again thanks for your constructive criticism!

=D

I disagree that it’s dragging. It could certainly go faster, but there’s no reason that it should go faster. The leisurely pace is stringing out the tension rather wonderfully.