OH SNAP!
A little tiny suggestion, though. You might want to separate, the dialouge it was a little hard to follow who was talking.
um, it is separated. i thought.
is that better?
Seperated like, everytime someone knew talks, make it a new line so we can tell its somebody different. If its the same, keeping it on the same line is fine.
New*
Mr.Gabriel
Mr.Gabriel
Mackizme
Mackizme
Mr.Gabriel
Mr.Gabriel