By our powers combined…

Hah! I’ll see your dashing young warlock and raise you a harassed council woman and an unexpected consequence!

A magical garden? With a magical serpent in an artificial lake? Huh? Huh?

…

HUH?!?!

One thing: his name is actually Therys. :-)

Son. Of a—

A really nice character you’ve set up here, written very well… Many a good fantasy fic has fallen down because it gets a bit power hungry, and people can’t be bothered to write essentially human characters – but you’ve created a lovely foil to uber-powerful Therys whilst still dropping in those wonderful fantasy references and giving the story a lot more possibilities. Well done!

Hah! I love that he just bounds off leaving Nyci to flounder. Reminds a little of Rincewind but obviously a much more capable wizard than Rincewind since nearly every other wizard in the history of wizards is more capable than him!

Wilting gardens cannot be good. And a returning headache makes for an ominous ending. This is turning into a very interesting series. What will happen next?!

Thanks to both of you. Therys, as written by kaellinn18, seemed like a determined, heroic magician with a mastery of his art, fearless in his defense of the good.

And I’ve suggested that he’s a wee bit single-minded.

I figure Nyci is also fearless in her defense of the good… it’s just the greater good she’s worried about, thus she’s horribly compromised. She needs to speak to Juno about the Gardens… unfortunately, all she’ll be able to find is Lady Salindra.

Clarifying two points for potential sequels:

1) Was trying to suggest that either Gorm’s well-being was tied to the health of the garden or he had an influence on it, suggesting a devil’s pact – Gorm feeds and the Garden thrives.

2) The returning headache is a weak beurocratic trope, unrelated to magic. But perhaps it would be stronger to make it a toothache so it’s return suggests Therys’ powers have weakened slightly?

Either way – peace rests on the Denar getting the healing herbs from the garden… AND IT’S DYING! DEN DEN DENNN!

Also – sorry to double post – what might the Denar possess or have done to a) help form the treaty and/or b) deserve these healing herbs?

I like where you’ve taken this, but what happened to the boy and where did all the extra characters come from. I feel I’ve missed something which I probably have so I’m feeling a little foolish.

As always, I love your structure. You have an amazingly unique style that I sometimes have to read through more than once to understand. I might try to sequel this but I will probably struggle…be kind please.
Abby x

oh…and thumbscrew collection: LOVE IT!

Abby, you’re not missing anything, it’s just that Rev. Speed has shown us events going on elsewhere at the same time – the reference to the ‘red spark of fury’ is Therys getting all magical in the previous installment… It’s all very clever :) You seemed to grab the idea pretty well for your sequel though so you probably don’t need this anymore :D Anyhoo there you go…

What Mostly Harmless said! =)

Trying to set up two strands in the plot so we can bounce back and forth between ’em, set up lovely cliffhangers and get more bang for our timeframe, if that makes sense.

Can’t wait to read the sequel…! (On my way there now…!)