Interesting character you’ve got here – going from brutal and kind of twisted in the first paragraph to more reasoned, desperate even, in the second… Makes me wonder more about the backstory, the psychological makeup of this persona – so well done there!

I feel almost uncomfortable reading it, which is perhaps what you wanted, the descriptions are so vivid and accomplished…

My reasoning for a 4 is that it is wonderfully written, but the plot itself is a bit typical, the ‘own back on abuser’ thing? You could sequel in a whole new direction though, so don’t think I’m condemning the whole idea!

Well done… MH :)

Abby, this is quite nice, a good effort to say the least. I agree with Mostly Harmless about wanting to know more about the backstory. That’s a good thing to draw from a reader.

On a more technically critiquing level, changing between present and past tense during a story is a little untidy, and it is something to definitely watch out for in pieces here, that are so short. First two paragraphs are present tense, followed by the main action in past tense, followed by a return to the present tense at the end.

Don’t take offence, as it is a trap many fall into (including me, more than once), and sometimes you just need to be more vigilant when you are re-reading. It stops nobody from understanding the story, but it is just a little messy.

I give you a four, because otherwise it is an excellent piece. And regarding what MH said about the score: 4s are great from me, as I reserve fives for pieces that really knock my socks off!

Keep up the good work.

Not to completely give away the plot to follow but just to hint at it because i don’t have time to prequel/sequel, the woman has psychological problems.