sounds like a fan-fic my husband would write, being that he owns over 3,000 transformers-type toys. And that is if he wrote fan fic.. :P
Great action sequence, lets you into the head of the fighter and gives you some background on the formidable enemy.

What Elsha said, a great action sequence!

Thanks. I wrote a number of other stories set in the same universe, on Ficlets—some of which I hope to continue when writing sequels or prequels to them is enabled.

Not always a fan of fan-fic, but this did have a nice, tight feel to it, and you earned the bonus points for having lights go off and on.

The first paragraph seems like it could be written better to keep with the pace of the rest of the story—right now it seems a little too expository for my liking. I think I just didn’t like the departure into the past and then back to the present between paragraphs. Does that make sense, or am I just mumbling to myself now?

THX, technically this isn’t “fanfic”. It’s original-universe kinda-like stuff, with elements from Transformers but also Captain Power and a few other things. Ficlets didn’t allow fanfic (though it was originally going to be meant FOR fanfic, according to my interview with Kevin Lawver on http://terrania.us/biblio/)

this could be part of your other story – surprised you didn’t sequel them together.

No, they’re entirely different stories starring entirely different characters. They may cover the same events, but they’re not the same story. Prequels and sequels should be about things directly related only, IMO.

Solid setup, good clarity. A fun little piece.