I don’t much like working with the zombies. No matter how much Febreeze or deodorant they spray on them, they still smell like garbage.

But in the army you don’t get much choice where you get assigned. They said I was getting promoted to Field Division Management. Said it was a great opportunity, I’d get increased pay and benefits. But it was that or they’d keep me in the dregs for three more years. Like I said, no choice. I knew it was because I didn’t have ‘people skills’. So they transferred me to the Z Company.

They were right about the people skills though. Zombies don’t eat, don’t talk, don’t shit, don’t bathe. When they’re not being trained they get sent to the ‘cooler’, which is just like it sounds—a big ice box. You can see them through a little window. They look like they’re having a conversation, but they just stand there, swaying a little. Each squad gets eight hours rest, but I don’t think they need it. It’s for the human squad leaders.