Sad little vignette into the life of this guy. I think there might not be enough sentence-length variation, but it could be intended.

Very nice description of this character, anyway.

It begs the question, Why can’t he sleep normally?

He’s afraid of being alone, and since his mother died, he has no one to sleep with. I didn’t know what I was going to write – I just picked a phobia and started scribbling.

I love the stories that come out when people do the ‘just start scribbling’ thing. This was sad. And relatable. It had a Fight Club vibe to it esp. when he started going to all night churches :)

What would really suck is being agoraphobic AND monophobic. shudder great stuff Kevin :)

lovely little story, very sad

I dig this, man. Hmm. Would the last line hit harder if it was “I’m not getting better” instead of “it’s”. I can’t decide.

Anywho. Nicely done.

@thelonius, you’re probably right. “I’m” would have been stronger.

Pretty good. The first line threw me a little bit because I assumed it was a typo (I figured it was “hate”) but when I started over I realized what a haunting and evocative description of loss that is. I used to have a 4Runner. I used to have a cat. I used to have my parents.

Well done.

forget the tylenol what you need is good healthy sleep. seriously try tuanol

Very nicely done, Kevin. I agree with Skull Man: The first line is an awesome way to display his loss. Of course, the story is a bit of a mystery to me, in that I usually prefer to be alone. And I guess that’s why I like it so much! On to the sequel.

Thanks, everyone. I don’t mind being alone – and I wouldn’t have written a sequel, but I reread this last night. Then, while I was trying to get to sleep, I kept thinking of ways he could be around people all the time and still function.

Oooh! Came to this via its sequel. I like the balance of craziness and self-awareness… being ill and knowing you’re ill and still being gripped by your illness – it’s a weird, compelling cycle. Makes me think of Brett Easton Ellis’s American Psycho and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night (can’t remember author offhand)… you could chase this guy into a full-length novella, methinks.

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