so true..
the rationed line is awkward.. you should work on that
but otherwise this was a lighthearted and uplifting piece.

i really like this peice. It flows very nice. good job!

Thank you so much! I was really trying to have a nice & inspiring piece here! Hopefully the new revision will be less awkward (I think the length of the line had a lot to do with it). Your criticisms are much appreciated =)