For me, tonight is less like the end of 2009 and more like the end of the world. The fireworks that shriek and bang are like guns to me. The bright lights are like hot and vicious, burning fires. The parties are just curtains to hide your grief behind.

For me, tonight is my last day on earth.

The clock is set at half past three – and I smile because of the times.
“Five more minutes…”
Even depressed the quiet mood can lift an octave thinking of those three little words.

“Four times he will knock…”
“Coffee!”
“Raxacoricalphalabatorias…”
Some of the times were even sweeter. The quotes and the foreshadowing.

Even in blood and tears, forty is so warm and comforting. The completion of such work. The conviction and commitment. I can only smile.

Tonight seems to be the end of so much, for me. The next year seems to be so gracefully and horrifically poised – waiting for my hesitant entry to murder me. New days…new weeks and months. New memories for a new year.

Happy new year folks…I’m thankful for you. X