This is a staggeringly good first story! A lovely pace and tone to it, and obviously a juicy hook for sequels… My only concern is the second sentence, it doesn’t read particularly well. But a quick edit to rephrase it and both technically and creatively this is gorgeous…

Welcome to Ficly! MH :)

Nice set up. As I think of what those secrets could be, I’m amazed at how fast my mind goes to darker things. Now I’m challenged to write a happier story.

@mostly harmless – Thanks! What do you suggest for the second sentence?

@chad wright – I did use the word “detriment” so that might be hard…but I’ll be glad to see if you come up with something.

hm, i vote secret compartment with a stash of something historic and valuable.