The pessimism is in the style here, rather than in the character, and that’s interesting . Risky, but you’ve pulled it off well… No obvious link to the sequel either which is nice – let’s see if you can surprise me! MH :)

I like it! My one suggestion would be to remove “almost” from “almost simian whimper.” I know that I also have a tendency to add words like “almost” and “seemed” to my writing, which is why I’m sensitive to it. If it doesn’t add to the narrative, remove it! :)

wow, there was so much in there, i read it twice to catch it all!