Some people call first person narrative ‘brave’.

But SECOND PERSON NARRATIVE! The good thing is, not only have you done it, you’ve nailed it. It suits the storytelling well, and though it might not work for a whole series, for this piece it’s carried off with a good deal of creative flair and some exciting content.

My only qualm really is a poor title, which doesn’t represent well enough the cracking content of the piece. Considering the narrative style, perhaps ‘Listen Carefully…’ or something along those lines might work.

Anyway, well done, and thankyou. MH :)

I like the adventure, the urgency, and the cave, (I have thing for caves, why, I don’t know). It’s as if this was spoken in memory, the living one remembering this speech.