An interesting idea, epically told – particular kudos for the similar start/end thing, which gives the piece an almost cyclical feel to it.
This is certainly dark, and although it could be sequelled was obviously written as a one-shot, so well done for that – it loses some of the natural flow of your other pieces, perhaps because it is solid prose, but I admire you for stretching your abilities – I hope you feel this advanced you as a writer…
Mostly Harmless