Good story, particularly interesting ending. Albert seems creepy, but also funny – if you sequel, I hope to see more of him.

A couple of your word choices seem a bit off though. I wouldn’t repeat the word ‘inside’ in the first paragraph, it’s a bit grating. And in the second paragraph, ‘acres’ of dark wood? Acres? Seems a bit big.

So a little polish and it will make a nice little fic to lead into something more expansive and plot-driven. MH :)

Thanks! Good spot on the repeat of “inside”, I completely missed it. Changing the first instance, I feel “within” works better there. I’ll have a ponder over “acres” too.

Great work – I really felt the transition from winter outside to this mysterious, cavernous forest inside. Good buildup of tension towards the end, but it left me wanting – I’d hope to see some sort of resolution, or failing that, a sequel.