You’re progressing well with this piece – introducing some darker subject matter, but with flair and interest rather than in a bogged-down description-fest.

I think I have come to the conclusion that the best thing about your writing is your characters – they are obviously well-formed in your head, as I think I’ve commented before, because they come across quite vividly on the page – well – screen…

My only qualm is the change in tense in the penultimate paragrpah, which doesn’t work for me – if it’s a mistake, then an edit will of course sort it in a flash…

Good work overall though! MH :)

Yeah, I sometimes have a problem with changing tenses. Definitely a mistake, thanks for catching it. I’ll get it corrected.

Thanks for the compliments!