That description of the mysterious man is wonderful… Very visual indeed!

I like that you’ve taken the original and developed it, rather than just answering all the questions it posed – in fact, you’ve created more!

A couple of tense things – you mean ‘lying’ in the first paragraph, and ‘lay’ in the fourth sentence of the second. I’m not sure about the use of the word ‘rotated’ to describe Dan’s eye movements either – sounds a little robotic?

But still a worthy sequel, well-written. MH :)

I was wondering about the “lying” and “lay” thing myself when I wrote it, thanks for showing me. And rotated DOES sound robotic, but I couldn’t find anything better. Or maybe robotic is a hint? Ha. Anyway, this was supposed to prequel the story, before the gun goes off….
This is so much fun!