HUNTER T. SAMPSON: EXORCIST
The door opened to an old married couple; the husband bald, the wife fat.
“Alright, where’s this cunt of a ghost,” asked Hunter irritably.
“Who are you,” asked the husband.
“I’m the fucker you called to get this ghost of yours to piss off outta your house. Although, frankly, I don’t know why this ghost would actually want to haunt this piece of shit house of yours.”
“But, you’re too young to be an exorcist,” said the wife.
“Yeah, like I haven’t fucking heard that before, love. Can you please move so I can do my fucking job?”
Fifteen minutes later…
“What did it want,” asked the husband.
“Well, she told me she was haunting you cos Mr. Baldy-Fuck over here killed her last week so that she wouldn’t spill the beans over the affair he was having with her.”
As the husband’s jaw dropped, the wife’s teeth gritted and Hunter’s coin twirled from finger to finger, Hunter added:
“She also said that she only humped your microscopic cock for your money and that, frankly, it wasn’t really worth it…in the end.”