This is great. I’ve been there and this captures those thoughts and feelings in an amazing way.

I know the format is very limiting, but I feel like this could have benefited from a few more images to set the scene. Good theme regardless.

I think that the lack of ‘scene-setting’ was an interesting choice actually – it made everything about this girl, and of course, in the protagonist’s eyes, she is everything… Neat.

The emotion here is really well written, and that last paragraph is particularly poignant – age doesn’t neccessarily equate to romantic bliss – if only, eh?

The line ‘and her guard has abandoned their posts’ doesn’t make sense, but that’s quick enough to fix.

Otherwise, I was impressed, and your title was good too – I get annoyed when people title their stories after the strongest line in the piece…

Sorry, I’ll stop ranting!

But yeah, your title and story were enjoyable. Well-written and clever. Congrats – MH :)

I had more issues than I normally do with the character limit in this one, and I think it definitely shows. I’ll probably take a crack at some revisions based on your suggestions!