Oh this is a lovely set up – the personable style of storytelling makes the character intriguing and quite endearing.

I would make that last sentence it’s own paragraph, for impact and emphasis, and I think that till is spelt ’til, a shortening of until. Check me on that though. It could be both ways.

Anyhoo, short and sweet, but still manages to give us enough, and leave enough for you or someone else to tell in a sequel. Or a prequel even?

Welcome to Ficly! MH :)

Yes, a sequel is definitely called for here. There’s a whole story just waiting to leap out and drag us along with it.

In the last line of the first paragraph it should be ‘burnt out car’ without the additional ‘a’ but aside from that no technical complaints on my part.

Keep up the good work Rodney :)

THis is the beginning of an experiment with someone I know on Ficly. Each sequel will switch back and forth between poetry and prose. I have no idea how this will work out, but that’s why it’s an ‘experiment’ right?