I’m gonna have to critasise =D Not all of your “i’s” are CAPITALISED tuttuttut… I would separate the last line as well using full stops instead of commas… Because you don’t use much of the character limit- you should leave a space between each line…
Otherwise…it’s very good. Nice and poetic. Well done and welcome to ficly =D Abby x
welcome to ficly Iamrebelnlamfree i hope you meet some friends like most of us have. on the note of your poem i would take Abby Wall’s advice but otherwise very well done and very emotional
Abby (LoA) 
Marli 
Moonlightgirl