Assassins plus fire equals good.

Very creepy narrative voice.

Woah…creepy.

Since we are unsure who the target was, we are unsure if he succeeded or failed. The voice telling him to pull out could mean there was danger coming and to get out of there fast, or it could mean he has the wrong room. In no way did I get a space feel though..

Space cadet was meant to simply be a codename.

This was a pretty interesting little story; I enjoyed it well enough. You could have built the setting up a little better; you definitely had the space.

On a somewhat factual note, a trained assassin/spy/whatever would never place the gun to the side of their head to commit suicide; it’s too easy to screw up that way. Having the assassin kill themselves by shooting through the mouth would be more realistic. Just FYI. :-)

I was freewriting to a song. I’m leaving it as is, for the most part.

Also. Didn’t think about that. But through the temple is just more dramatic, in my opinion.

he didn’t feel trained.. sort of a kamikaze thing..

I enjoyed this, it had the rushed pace to match the suggested mentality of the assassin – hurried and fervent.

True, you could have set the scene a little more, and the code name was a little confusing but I agree with the writer about the shot to the temple. Pretty good chance of dying anyhoo. And a trained assassin probably wouldn’t commit suicide at the end of a mission either, so I definitely think he’s a bit of a renegade…

Good work. MH :)

Elizabeth this was arealistic tale of the avenger. Perhaps skulked,slithered or something other than stalked . Also I felt it a bit rushed and you could have emphasised more on the actual killing scene. Well done though.

I liked the questions this piece left for the reader. I felt inspired to answer them, which is a good sign. My idea, probably not what you were shooting for, was that maybe this assassin used his suicide to “pull out” of the body. Anyways, fun read and I prequeled. Hope you don’t mind.

Love Brand New (though TDAGARIM [the longest acronym for an album name ever] is the only album of theirs I like. Deja Entendu is too rockish, and Your Favorite Weapon is too whiny punk.) Listening to the song, I can see why you picked it for this.

However, reading it with or without the music, it felt a little too quick, like Marli said, and the “lack thereof” sentence felt tacky. I would just say that there’s no name on the door and move on.

Am I getting my ideas across without being a jerk? ‘Cause I haven’t been here for a few months.

interesting…i keep rereading it for clues. it is very fast paced!