Right. A disturbed arsonist. Quite the flaw…!

Very well written, but I would swap those last two lines to place emphasis on ‘liked to watch things burn’ – that’s very impactful.

Otherwise, you got in some of the details from the challenge whilst incorporating your own plot and characterisation – possibly my favourite entry so far, well done! MH :)

Thanks for the suggestion. Switched.

I really liked this. MH took all the really useful things to say…=P

Definitely twisted. Poetically written, which mostly worked, though it felt like a bit much in that first paragraph at times. And I didn’t quite follow the sentence about the floral dresses. I think where it got to feel like too much was where you tried to fit too many ideas into one sentence. It worked for the flow, but the number of ideas per sentence felt unwieldy.

In any case, just nit-picking for the sake of critique, as it’s a lovely piece written so as to have a very effectively shocking ending.

well, you certainly explained her tear, and I hope the song was mournful. You’d think an 18 year-old would know better, but fire is dangerous.. :) I like the tone and the color in this piece, I see orange.. you missed the word ‘in’ in the sentence about her dress. I like the detail about everyone loving her, and I wonder about her future, if they will love her and sympathize, swearing she is innocent and traumatized rather than convict her.

Wow, this is great. You made her a much denser character. Not only is she a pyromaniac, but she is an obvious sociopath. Very creepy.

This gave me chills. Excellent details though.