Yikes, that was a horrific ending! Aside from the shock value, I think it felt a bit jarring cause you had to get the information out so quickly after being so careful in your descriptions earlier in the story. It might have felt smoother if you left the details a bit more vague and just described the handless arms and an emotional state. Just a thought. Neat idea all the same, making for a tragic little tale.

I totally agree with THX, rewriting that penultimate sentence could make this alot stronger – show don’t tell…

Still, this is well written and interesting, building up well to that shocking conclusion, I’ll look out for the edit because I think it would push up the overall success of the piece.

Thanks for entering! MH :)

Alright, I did a little edit. Hopefully it helps.

Heart-wrenching ending!! Maybe you should allude to what is to come by adding that your character had trouble opening the window (I’m still wondering how he managed without hands…) But otherwise I really enjoyed this.

Oh no! I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t play violin anymore…that’s horrible =[