What a great short story this would make, with his artificial love affair and jealous “murder” after a road trip.

This is really, really great. Well-paced and with hints at the delusional psychology of this guy – the hook at the end is inspired!

I really have little criticism to offer, it was quirky and well thought-out right down to the title – a cracking read with bucketloads of potential… MH :)

Wow, this is exceptional, and it’s not even far-fetched. I agree with TDH, this would make a great short story. I thought that he would be going after his brother at the end, but going after the server is so much more interesting. Well played!

Yes, this is really captivating, I loved it!
The topic reminds me a little of one of those new episodes of the Twilight Zone in which a man who had somewhat of an “affair” with a virtual reality simulated woman. Except “she” somehow became obsessed with him and needed to be destroyed and then in the end the man’s wife ended up also having a secret affair with her lol.

I did the same thing Kaellinn did. At first I thought the narrator would go after his brother, which would have been tragic, but when he went after the server, that makes it somehow more… human?

This was good. Really good, but I’m a fraid that I’m gonna be the only one to give you a 4/5. But, don’t take it to the heart, it’s a great captivating story.

You made me LOL, and not too many ficlies do. Here’s a cookie.

Wow, excellent. Pretty funny too, and this isn’t really so imaginary… in our society today, I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody went ahead and did this….

Ah jealousy. Thou art a fickle Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Neural Processing Unit.

Nice piece. Very enjoyable read.

Love it, especially that last line.

I quite like this story, but I’m going to join Mr.Gabriel with a 4/5 …and suggest that you could even tighten this up a bit more and probably work in more jokes.

What you’ve got is extremely clever and I’m totally going to follow you so I can see more of your work.

Absolutely brilliant. This is just too funny! =)

really good story.
loved the ending

I am very grateful for all of your comments and ratings, and thanks to all of you for helping me get featured! :D

Well done. Congratulations on getting featured. This is a wonderful piece with all sorts of fantastic themes.

A good plot and good writing.

Abby x

I enjoyed this ficly mainly because the real twist is he goes after the server not his brother.

Fantastic.

A sigh, though- nothing good every happens in Oregon. Man, this state blows.

I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. Though rather than everyone else who thought the protagonist was going to kill his brother, I expected him to destroy his brother’s computer. The server makes more sense though, and is funnier.

Not the turn I expected. Well done.

I really liked this story, the [citation needed] being a verbal quirk is inspired!

sweet and dark. i feel like picking a soundtrack already.

I enjoyed your piece because of how…non fictional.. it was. :P congratulations on being featured!!

There are a lot of servers in Oregon too (Cheap electricity from our copious water and wind you know.) Fantastic story, and well drawn analogies between woman and chatbot. Bravo.

Thank you for sparing the brother and taking it out on the electronic hussy.
;)