This is the beginning of a story that I originally wrote on Ficlets. Figure I’ll repost (revise?), and continue here!

This is a good premise, and the characterisation and dialogue is really strong – my only concern is that it feels a little rushed and clichéd at the end… Perhaps it would be better if he didn’t notice the dark monster looming at the window – a bit of dramatic irony would do this piece the world of good…

But still, the first 80% was thoroughly enjoyable and most importantly – original. MH :)

Yeah, I remember this one. It got pretty freaky as I recall. Really like the characterization and internal conflict for your character.

Guess he was wrong.