Of course that could be because it’s almost midnight, but I think it’s more to do with a strange point of view that leaves a lot of gaps where I find myself struggling to follow along…
From what I can determine, you’ve got some interesting ideas, and your title is a real winner, but I found it confusing and difficult in several places. Maybe a stronger introduction, or a first person piece might work better? MH :)
It’s a story I’ve wanted to tell for ages now, so this is a first try, hence the oddness. I also had trouble with the word count and cut a lot. Thanks for your advice! I’m afraid I don’t know about Haunting in Connecticut but it is from a nonsense poem: “One fine day in the middle of the night, Two little dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other Raised their swords and shot each other.”
Mostly Harmless 
Catherine 
Mr.Gabriel 
Lighty 
Gradual Uprising {LoA}