In a weird way, this almost, but not quite, reminded me of Brave New World…in the monotony but not the killing. Really chilling look at what life could be like, although I’d like to hear a little more about the town, or perhaps the people in it.
Reminds me of a story that got entered for a challenge of mine a while back – with the unchanging monotony… Creepy eh?
I do think you could pad this out further for greater effect, and even if you don’t add something, at least add some paragraphing to vary the structure and make it more readable…
Interesting, but a little empty? Maybe that adds to the feel… Anyhoo, welcome – back? MH :)
This is interesting, but I agree you could’ve done a lot more with the space, but if you decide to keep it this way, at least seperate the paragraphs to make it an easier read.
someday_93
Mostly Harmless
Mr.Gabriel