Well random really is the word for this.

But it’s a good kind of random, the kind of random that is enjoyable to read as a piece of writing as well as an exercise in funny names and absurd situations…

I think you mean ‘an attempt TO’ at the beginning of the third paragraph, but other than that this is strong on a technical level.

And as for on a creative level? All I can say is that you have left me craving to know the exact location of Golmorth, and to visit imminently… Nice work! MH :)

and this is when D&D breaks down.. :P

I found this highly amusing!