P.S. I let in the Purse-osis part even though it breaks up the flow because old ladies get distracted like that. just be glad Muriel got back on track!

I enjoyed the osteo-PURSE-osis line, and I think it should be an actual condition. My wife will most surely have it someday in the future.

I think the line that she writes on the stall would have been better if she wrote, “It is a fragrant world.” But then, I still enjoy poop jokes.

hmm, well I struggled with the line, so let’s play “make my ficly better!”

This made me smile – why is it that I wouldn’t mind public vandalism if I knew it was committed by old ladies trying to regain their vitality?

Nice work, a really cheeky character you’ve got here, lots of potential for the continuing misdemeanours of Muriel…! MH :)

Old women are curazy…

MAKE MY FICLY BETTER! What should she have scrawled on the wall?

I already told you! :-)

Good one Elsha. Suppose we all did just one bad thing in our life that did not hurt anyone we should be forgiven.lol.

“It is not a fragrant world” is a PERFECT comment for the wall. Seriously. I wouldn’t change it at all.

I love a Ficly that’s more character sketch than story, and this is no different. Beautifully orchestrated, my dear. Muriel could ask for no better creator. :)

I would have been hard-pressed to think of a better line of scurrilous toilet stall wit; I wouldn’t change it at all.

I quite enjoyed the osteo-PURSE-osis gag, and I also think you have a very clever title. I smiled throughout the whole sketch.

On the other hand, it took me a third read-through to grok that Muriel hadn’t ever written on the stall wall before. I think this stems from the first few sentences where she calls herself rebellious, and a thinker. Hence, I wasn’t surprised when she had a marker, or that she used it on the wall.

This could quite easily be my own failing, but you might go over the first paragraph again when you’ve had a little time to distance yourself from its newness.

alright zorkfox.. i changed 3 words. i had written an extra sentence about her new rebel attitude versus her past, but it had to be chopped up. I hope you get it now.

This made me smile.

Dig the last line. Like the big purse deal too, as it does seem to me that women seem to desire a minimum of a 3 bowling ball capacity for what should be keys and a wallet.

I completely got the attention span thing. I immediately appreciated her thinking pattern since so many of my friends are older :P

“I uncapped my black sharpie – good for coloring over scuffs on dress shoes – and the sharp, intoxicating scent spurred me forward.”
That’s really an interjected thought, and phrasing it thusly will . . I’m so tired. I’ve got no idea What it’ll do at this point. I need to go to bed. Just do it: it’ll make it better. The stall scribble is great. leave it. you’re Muriel’s creator so you’ll know her best. night.

btw. 5 pencils

This is a very good story apey. I love the purse line too.
@Blossom welcome to the LoA You Rock.

A reader’s own thoughts
on mortality and death
are eased by humour

:-)

haha! great!

Well done. I especially liked, “scratched out the curse words and corrected grammar.”

Oh, so very funny! Reminds me of the time my two Old Maid great aunts asked their brother what the F-word meant.

Too much smiling going on.

Very good. And I really loved the bit about correcting grammer.

I, like a lot of other people, loved the bit about scratching out curse words and correcting grammar. The idea of an old woman doing such a thing, and then adding her own comment is awesome.

I’m no expert but I think you could be. You should send something to a publisher. Maybe you already have.

That made me giggle. It’s such a natural idea made into a fantastic piece of writing.

I love how the character of the old woman is expanded in such a small amount of words.

Well done
Abby x

haha…
Grammarr, sounds like someone I know, they, and Muriel, are typically English-mad! this is really something, what an amazing sense of humour you must have! BRILLIANT! x