The ominous ending ties the color challenge in with sequel potential. And who doesn’t like reading about Mars?

I like the imagery, the planet seeping into her in every way. Very nice.

A great start to a story on my second favorite planet.

Thank you.

great story great imagery i would expect nothing less from you skully

It’s taken me a looong time to comment on this. I have been simply unable to find words, but here goes.

Wow.

Being on the Martian frontier is going to be very claustrophobic indeed. You capture that brilliantly.

That little twist at the end sets us up for how the planet is affecting them physically as well as mentally.

A fine opening, brimming with tension and potential for conflict. Top stuff.

A brilliant take on the combination of hard labour in the claustrophobia and vast emptiness of space.

Hints of Frank Herbert, and Walter M Miller’s Crucifixus Etiam here – but in a uniquely different way.

Lots of mystery there. I’m perplexed and curious but in a good way. Neat bit of story here, just begging to be continued.

People keep saying first part. I think it stands on its own. The rest is left to the imagination. What strange tales might our minds spin?

Thanks for the kind words, guys. They’re much appreciated.

I’m sorry to nitpick on the science of what is merely your title, but Olympus Mons doesn’t cast much of a shadow, because of the really, really low slope. If you were standing at the base of the mountain, you wouldn’t know it from looking at it. Actually, I’m pretty sure the peak would be over the horizon.

… ignoring that, I agree, it’s definitely a nice story. Well worth a sequel.

@DoItFOrScience Yeah, I know… Martian terrain is pretty odd from what I understand of it.

But I wanted the foreboding feel that the title gave, especially to tie in with the last line.

Also I needed something so that I could get the wretched thing posted, since I’m really bad at thinking up titles. :-)

There’s no reason the shadow has to be a literal shadow…

This made the environment so very tangible and interesting. I absolutely loved this piece…everything about it. The characters are, with only one line of dialogue, so very well developed and seated in the world.

17 Stars and 9 pencils, for good measure.