Comments on Running! by Abby (LoA)

Abby (LoA)

sorry if this wasn’t what you were after – guess it’s the 15 year old coming out =D
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Andy G {L.O.E.M.A.T.T.L.O.A.}

That was ace!
Did not see that coming.
you should read my story
“just out of reach”
I think you would like it
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Andy G {L.O.E.M.A.T.T.L.O.A.}

That was ace!
Did not see that coming.
you should read my story
“just out of reach”
I think you would like it
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Violet Turner

I really liked this story, but the “just running” seemed to belittle your story. Perhaps you could replace “just running” with adjectives, like panting, heaving, etc, and remove the just from the first time you say just running.

Fantastic twist! Surprising yet fits with the story.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5